I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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