Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize