you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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