i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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