I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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