i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
