I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
