It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
