GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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