Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
