Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
