He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
