He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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