awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Boobs are out for the taking
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
