Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
