no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
