at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
