Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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