why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Terrible idea I love it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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