one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
