you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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