her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize