It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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