Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
