Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
