I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
