Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
