An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i out mim tonsoeep
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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