The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
