You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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