Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
