you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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