I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
