OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
