Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We are all done wearing pants today
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
