They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
