after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize