I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
