She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
