i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
