He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize