i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
