Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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