Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
