The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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