I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
