Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
