After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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