She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
