I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So squirting runs in the family.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
