.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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