so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
