How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
