who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
