This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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