Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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