what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
