turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
