I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
