covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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