The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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