i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
